We were told it was the Terrible Twos. Then we were told to call them “Threenagers.” Now you may find yourself in the Fourth Dimension. Wherever you are with your little one in their journey through toddlerhood, it can be downright tricky some days to remain calm and carry on, so to speak. So, now when it’s time to just throw on your sunglasses and cry in private and when to put on your big mama pants and handle it like the boss babe you are. And, if you don’t have a pair of fabulous oversized shades yet, start searching for women’s Tom Ford sunglasses and make haste!
Dealing With Toddler Melt Down With Grace
Reign In Your Emotions
Dealing With Toddler Melt Down is not an easy task I know all too well! It’s easy to react emotionally to the things our children do or say when they are in the throes of a severe tantrum. The critical thing to remember here is their inability to communicate. Sure, they may have an advanced vernacular for their age, but their ability to honestly express their emotions, needs, and wants isn’t tweaked anywhere near to perfection yet. That is why it’s essential that you try to remain in control as an adult and not react emotionally.
This is no easy feat as a mama, even if you’re on your fifth child – but if you need to take a step back and moment away to compose yourself – that’s totally normal and okay. Come back to your child when you’re able to react without angry emotions and explain things rationally and compassionately.
Stand Your Ground
Though you want to balance being compassionate and loving while still teaching the lesson, it’s hard not to give in sometimes. But, hold the line! Your toddler may be really pushing you, and it seems like the screaming or stomping around won’t end, but you know from experience that eventually, this too shall pass. Do not reward their negative behavior by giving in and allowing them to have what they’re throwing the fit over. Ice cream for breakfast? Not going to happen – I guess you’re headed to preschool hungry. Same with dinner, they need to be explained the importance of nutrition and why it’s important to honor their bodies.
Of course, you need to be setting positive examples as the parent, but hold your ground on these issues. If you give in, the lessons are lost, and you’re starting from square one all over again. And don’t worry, your child isn’t going to starve themselves – they will eat what you offer them when they’re hungry enough. It could be a good lesson on how one in five children in the US go to bed hungry every night, and they should be grateful.
Lead By Example
We touched on this above, but it bears repeating. You can’t expect your children to do the right thing, eat healthily, remain calm, or tell the truth if you don’t do it yourself. If you tell your child you’re going to do something or be somewhere, follow through. Don’t eat candy bars in the car in front of them if you’re not going to share. You get the idea. Children want nothing more than to emulate our behavior as they look up to us with such unconditional love it could break a parent’s heart. So, show them what you mean by acting it out right in front of their eyes.
Be A Strong Listener
We’re always trying to understand our children’s behavior. Additionally, we’re always begging our toddlers to be better listeners. We ourselves need to truly listen to what our children are trying to tell us. Their message may not always be outright verbal either; many times, it’s presented to us through a physical meltdown with tears and stomping and kicking, sometimes even hitting.
Take this time to sit with your child, comfort them and truly listen. Explain to them in age-appropriate levels that you understand and love them and will always be there for them when they’re upset and in need. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
If you’ve got a toddler and are wading through these difficult times, it’s easy to see why there are so many memes about “mama needs wine” or “caffeine queen” bumper stickers – but they exist because there is truth to them at the end of the day. So drink that coffee to keep up with rearing a toddler and enjoy that wine at the end of the night if you need it. You’re doing a great job, mama, and you got this!
Do you have anything to add to dealing with toddler melt down you want to add? If so, leave them in the comments below! thank you!