In this article, you will find 5 Tips to Coparent Like a Pro During the Holidays. This year, the holidays look different than any other holiday season in recent memory. For families in the midst of a divorce, and for the newly divorced, the holidays often add another layer (or two) of stress as co-parenting schedules are implemented for the first time.
Even if your divorce has long since been in your rear-view mirror and you’ve been co-parenting for a while, the holidays can still ratchet up your anxiety. The season may also seem to intensify the pressure on an already tense relationship with an ex.
The holidays are especially challenging for kids experiencing divorce or separation between their parents. Creating a pleasant environment for kids during the holidays requires both parents to be on the same page and work with each other.
One possible solution for dividing the time the kids spend between each parent during the holidays is to alternate years. In this schedule, the kids will spend a specific holiday with parent A one year, and then will switch the following year to spend it with parent B. For example, in 2020 the kids spend Christmas or Hanukkah with Dad, and the following year 2021 they spend the holiday with Mom.
If both parents want to see the kids each holiday, every year, then creative solutions will need to be explored. For example, the kids could spend the day with Parent A, and the night with Parent B. Alternatively, parents could choose to unite and both spend the holiday together with the kids, perhaps at the family home or with relatives.
Whatever solution is implemented, it is important that kids do not spend a significant amount of time traveling between parents and relatives during the holidays. This will reduce the anxiety they may be feeling, and ensure they are on comfortable, familiar ground with their family altogether. Wherever you fall in the co-parenting spectrum, just remember to breathe and read on!
5 Tips to Coparent Like a Pro During the Holidays
In this article, we share 5 tips for co-parenting successfully during the holidays that will help the unfamiliar and the adept navigate the season like a professional.
Tip # 1 – Be Kind
First and foremost, spouses must treat each other with kindness and respect when navigating co-parenting arrangements. This is the only way to successfully negotiate with each other to create a healthy atmosphere for the kids.
Applying kindness to an ex is not always easy. But, reaching deeply into ourselves to approach drop-offs and pickups, gift buying, and faith-based activities with friendliness, generosity, and consideration will at the very least make you feel better as you navigate parenting times and custody schedules across two households.
Tip #2 – Love Your Kid(s) More Than You Hate Your Ex
Similar to the effort of being kind, focusing on love may not always be the first emotion we feel when a text comes through from our ex about the kids. Particularly, when it is regarding a change to the schedule or some other request that may not be exactly what was previously agreed.
No matter what it is, nine times out of ten, it is not the fault of your child(ren). And even if, say your child forgets something at one parent’s residence, remember the holidays are a time for forgiving.
Tip #3 – Be Flexible: Tips to Coparent Like a Pro During the Holidays
Divorcing spouses focused on efficiency may be doing their own divorces on a website like It’s Over Easy online divorce to create their co-parenting and holiday schedules. Or, you may have paid lawyers to negotiate all of that on your behalf.
In either case, even though you have what you both agreed to in writing, it’s still necessary to be flexible. Plans change, especially this year (thanks COVID), so if you can integrate Tip #2 AND be flexible, you’re getting closer to the pro-co-parent you want to be.
Tip #4 – Plan Ahead
You and your soon-to-be-ex (or your former spouse if you’ve already divorced) know your kids better than anyone else. Thinking ahead to any potential snags that could come up with your schedule and your co-parent’s family will prepare you in advance for unexpected changes.
Tip #5 – Remember The Reason For The Season
The world religions mark this time of year as special. Even if we’re not religious, the holidays have their own significance. It’s a time to reflect, enjoy, and spend time together, even if it’s virtual with relatives as safety requires in the Age of COVID-19. Now, more than ever it’s important not to sweat the small stuff.
Your kids are equal parts you and your co-parent, which means any negative comments made by one parent about the other parent impact the child who inherently is aware that they are made up of both of you. This applies even when co-parenting with a jerk, or someone who does things much differently than you.
This is the time of year to call on our better angels, even if you don’t believe in them. I hope this article of 5 Tips to Coparent Like a Pro During the Holidays, helps you or someone you love. Happy Holidays and Stay Safe!